Not long ago, there was a man
So slender, lithe and slim
His beauty praised by all his clan
Look what became of him:
When exam season dawned so grey
His study-tension grew
When stressed, he ate but (sad to say)
His eating stressed him too!
For when he ate, he didn’t just bite
He shovelled platefuls down
Enough for two; his appetite
Became the talk of town!
When third and fourth helpings were served
His belt he’d just untie
With pastries all for him reserved
How could he just walk by?
No calories by him were burned
His exercise was tardy
Before he knew it, he was turned
From Laurel into Hardy.
His stomach swelled into a globe
He copped a second chin
His rear grew out another lobe
His thighs would not fit in –
Those jeans, which just a year before
He’d bought and found too loose
Strangled his waist now, bayed for more
And hips cried of abuse.
His belly with his buttons fought
His feet he can’t remember
The roll of fat ensures he’s not
Exhaled since last December.
But when he moans about his plight
(A panda from a pin!)
His friends react with smiles so bright
And say, ‘But you’re so thin!’
* * *